A Powerful Idea That Could Change Everything, and our Holiday Reset on 12/20

Is it true?

I got a parking ticket the other day.

And the funny part is, an hour before I got the ticket, I had gone outside to grab something from my car. If I had taken literally one second to look up at the sign, I would have seen that it was street-cleaning and saved myself the money and everything that came with it.

When I saw the ticket, I immediately went somewhere inside. Anger and frustration started to come up. But then almost as quickly, it was gone. That surprised me, because these things used to make me furious. I used to spiral. So I stopped and asked myself why it disappeared so quickly this time.

I realized I had subconsciously asked one question.

“Is it true?”

Here’s the thing. I wasn’t upset because of the money. I was upset because of what I made the parking ticket mean about me. My mind would immediately go to…

“You idiot.”
“You always do this.”
“You are so irresponsible.”

It wasn’t the ticket. It was the story that came after.

But this time, something new happened.
The voice and the criticism came up, and then I paused.
I asked that simple question.

“Is it true?”

Is it true that I am an idiot?
Is it true that this moment defines me?
Is it true that a parking ticket tells me anything meaningful about who I am?

When I slowed down enough to ask the question, everything softened.
It became just a parking ticket. A small, human mistake on a random Tuesday (yes, Tuesday street cleaning in Windward Circle on Grand). Nothing more.

I realized that the more I stop believing every thought that runs through my head, the lighter life gets and the lighter I get.

Then, when I came to write this newsletter, I realized that the foundation of Byron Katie’s work is based on this one idea.

She once said, “We suffer not because of what happens, but because of what we believe about what happens.”

Her method, called The Work, consists of four questions that you apply to any stressful thought:

• Is it true?
• Can you absolutely know it is true?
• How do you react when you believe that thought?
• Who would you be without that thought?

Then you do a final step called the Turnaround, where you flip the original belief into possible opposites and see if those might also be true.

I love this line from her: “Placing a question mark after your thoughts, instead of an exclamation point, is the beginning of peace.”

And so sometimes the most spiritual or connected moment of the week is not during a meditation. It is standing on the sidewalk after getting a parking ticket.

And suddenly, this ticket becomes part of the curriculum.