A beautiful parable about perception

The Elephant in the Tent

There’s an old Sufi tale I’ve always loved.

A group of travelers arrived in a small desert village, bringing with them something the villagers had never seen before: an elephant.

Word spread quickly. An elephant? What even is that? Curiosity buzzed through the streets. The villagers had heard of such a creature, but had no frame of reference—no photos, no stories, no past experiences to draw from.

The elephant was brought into a large, dark tent, and one by one, the villagers were invited in to experience it. But there was no light inside—just darkness and their touch.

The first villager walked in and reached out. His hand landed on the elephant’s ear. Soft and floppy. He ran out of the tent and said, “An elephant is like a large fan!”

The next person touched the elephant’s sturdy leg. Confused, they walked out arguing, “What are you talking about? An elephant is like the trunk of a tree!”

Another walked in and felt the tusk. “No, no. You’re both wrong—it’s like a spear. Smooth and sharp.”

One more touched the tail and declared, “The elephant is like a rope… thin and wiry.”

The arguments began. Everyone was certain they were right.
After all, they were sharing their real experience.

But of course, while they were all partially right, they were also completely wrong.

They hadn’t seen the full elephant.
Only their limited experience of it.

I wonder how often we do the same?

How often do we make judgments about a situation, an interaction, a loved one, a stranger—or even ourselves—based on a single, often limited, piece of information?
A single moment.

We grab onto that one part and assume we’ve understood the whole.

But what if we haven’t?

What if we’re missing the rest of the elephant?

This week, I invite you to stretch—and see differently.
Try something that contradicts your assumptions about someone else.
Or even better, your assumptions about yourself.

You might do this silently—with a loved one, a friend, or a stranger.
If you never dance, take a dance class.
If you’re usually serious, smile at strangers for a week.
If you think you know how your partner, child, or coworker feels—ask them again. And really listen.

Let yourself be surprised.

Maybe there’s a whole elephant standing right in front of you.
And you’ve been sitting here, stroking the tip of its trunk.

Take a long, slow, deep breath in…

Imagine someone you love

And start to think about life through their perspective

Imagine you had walked in their shoes…

Through their childhood, with their family, with their view of the world

Through their teenage years, friendships, romantic experiences, career, health, and life

Imagine you are them, having going through everything you know they’ve been through

Now imagine them sitting across from you

And tell them everything you would ever want them to remember

Exhale.